Santa Clause Is Coming To Town! For Easter!
Last week I got a full catalog in the mail from Target. It was several pages of Easter baskets filled with fancy new toys, and not just the usual summer pool gear and bubbles, but representatives from every major toy trend. I was rather put off by this (successful!) attempt by retailers to turn Easter into another Christmas, complete with keep up with the Jones’ levels of overindulgence for the kiddies, and Santa-level whining and begging for parents. The only reason I held on to the thing was the row of good coupons in the center. My mistake.
I completely put it out of my mind until my children found it. They had meticulously circled and cataloged every item that they wanted to find in their Easter basket, clipped the relevant coupons, and were prepared to stage a full out gimme attack on their parents. I wasn’t buying it, literally or figuratively.
Now, I am a bit nutty when it comes to holidays. I thoroughly enjoy spoiling my children, and their Easter baskets have always held surprises beyond a chocolate bunny and a few eggs. This began in an attempt to not sugar them up with loads of candy, and was a fairly good solution. Last year I happened to over-fill the baskets. I had just had an Usborne party, so each kid had a few books. Plus all the Toy Stories and the Frog Princess were coming out, and I had amazon gift cards collecting dust, so I bought the Blu-rays and stuffed them in there too. Then, of course, I fell prey to the well-marketed pre-stuffed eggs with exclusive Littlest Pet Shop Toys and mini Lego sets that lined the Easter aisles (note multiple aisles) at Target. Add in the usual candy and eggs. . .and even before I hid these for the kids I realized I had gone way over-board.
A smart mother would have pulled out some of the books and the movies, and just had them appear as needed over the next few months without attaching them to a holiday. I wasn’t very smart that day, and so I thought, “eh, it will just be an Easter to remember.” And yes, they have remembered! They remembered so well that they now think all baskets will be that over-flowing! The memory of that Easter has completely blocked all other normal Easters from their memories and upped every expectation so that they were now registering a Christmas Toyland where a basket and a few eggs once were.
Now, last Easter I did spend a considerable amount of time teaching my children about why we celebrate Easter. The bunny isn’t the big deal; Christ is. I bought several new books to help my kids get a clear vision of what happened, and we had four weeks worth of family lessons on the Savior. They all went very well. Ask my kids. They know what Easter is all about. This lesson learned is just as clear as the lesson I inadvertently taught when I over-filled those baskets.
We cut back on Christmas this year, not for financial reasons, but because I just don’t think they need all that stuff. They don’t need the lessons the stuff teaches, and they don’t need stuff trumping things of actual importance. They don’t need clutter beyond their ability to deal with it. And they really don’t need so much excess that a Christmas list becomes essentially an entitlement for an ingrate. Even with our efforts, they were still plenty spoiled, and Chris and I have determined to cut back even more next year. We are doing our Christmas shopping in a totally different way, and I’m excited for these changes.
I think the trend of entitlement and greed is here to stay, and I think that parents are going to need to be a lot more vigilant in helping their children keep a wise perspective. Children are going to need a lot more opportunities to work and earn, and opportunities to make due and find satisfaction anyway. It isn’t an easy thing to do, especially in a competitive society where every media campaign and every bit of school lunch chatter is focused on having more, and always equating ‘haves’ as winners and ‘have nots’ as losers. We need to teach them that having things through honest hard work has value, and is a very real reality. They need to understand this concept well enough to develop gratitude.
So what is your plan? What ideas for keeping the gimmies under control and the gratitude levels rising can you share with us? I’d love to hear!]]>
< ![CDATA[One little toy...Melissa and Doug wooden ice cream puzzle for dd and a lego watch for ds....one large kinder egg each and will hide a few jelly beans....that's it...I'm not doing that again (I think you read my mind) they have too much and they ask for more, fixing that now. They know what Easter really is and that will be our focus this year. They can enjoy their things after we get home from church.
good job Leah!]]>
I am not really sure what the answer to this is–but I applaud you for trying to curb it now! Is there a way to work in a family charity “event” with it? Perhaps, Spring cleaning, they each go through and find a couple toys they are willing to donate to children that are less fortunate? At Christmas, each person makes something for the rest of the members in the family…
I’m in total agreement. But you have your work cut out to keep them from being terribly disappointed with this year’s baskets. I totally dislike the way every occasion is turned into a commercial event. . . Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day. and on and on. I have asked our children to not spend mega $$$ on gifts for us. We would far rather enjoy a few hours of their time even if I’m the one doing the cooking!!
I think as parents we try hard to teach our kids values and beliefs. We wage a raging battle against commercialism pretty much every single day. There is nothing wrong in indulging our kids sometimes but as you said, we set their expectations high and then fall in the pit ourselves struggling to meet those expectations. Kudos to you for trying to do the right thing. Our kids will appreciate it when they are older. I can bet on that.
< ![CDATA[Being divorced and knowing that she would be spoiled rotten with the "fun dad" syndrome and four sides of the family to dote on her, and also knowing that my little one will take ten miles if you give her 1/2 an inch, I decided early on that I we would not buy kids meals at restaurants and toys at the store in front of her unless she earned the money. Now that she is seven she is the only child I know who does not even ask for these things and is happy with a $1 burger, shared fries with mom, and water to drink. When she does get a kids meal it is a big deal and I get lots of hugs and "thank you mom!" for it.
We have also set a $100 limit on presents (including any clothes) for Christmas and Birthdays until she is older because she does not need extra stuff. Now she does not expect huge amounts and is pleased as punch with small things like play dough or book sets.
I think cutting back is a great idea for anyone with kids, if you teach them now that mom and dad are not ATM machines (and neither is Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny) then later it will not grow into more, more, more.
Tell them the Easter Bunny just got a new budget and will not be giving lots of gifts any more. Then you can talk to them about how stuff needs to be paid for, even by the Easter Bunny and how budgets work. :) ]]>
Errrg that is so annoying! We don’t usually go all out for easter, and honestly, I haven’t even thought of this year’s gifts. (Last year it was a beach towel and…yes, I think bubbles) But one thing we did decide to do was jump on the Easter-Basket-Egg-Search-on-Saturday-instead-of-Sunday thing. Last year’s search/fight was so annoying and obnoxious I decided we’d never do it again on one of the most special days of the year.
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Have a great week!]]>
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Have a great week!]]>
That has got to be one of the hardest parts of being a mother: knowing when too much is too much. I have no idea how I’ll be when that time comes for me, but I hope I can have the strength you have! Saying no to cuties is very difficult.
< ![CDATA[Many many years ago a local store went out of business and I was able to buy my kids literally everything they wanted for Christmas at a quarter of what I would normally have spent.20 years later do they reminder that Christmas-NO!The only thing they reminder are the years they didn't get what they want.
It is such a hard "row to hoe".I know I overdid for them because I had such a hard childhood. Yet my oldest son does the same thing for his children-and I thought he had never lacked for anything he really wanted or needed.He sees his childhood from a totally different perspective.If I had it to do over again-the less they have the more they appreciate what they do have.]]>
< ![CDATA[Great post!
Overindulgence at Easter is one of my biggest pet-peeves. It's become SO over commercialized. There's even a bunny you can visit at the mall! Puh-leassse. Carter gets a modest amount of candy, a book, and small toy (bubbles, a ball, etc) to celebrate spring and being able to enjoy outside again. All in all our pockets drop about $20.
I thought the same last week when I dropped my kid off at preschool. A ton of the other kids got gifts and money and gold coins for St. Patrick's Day. Gimme a break.
I'd rather keep it small and enjoyable and know the true meaning of REAL holidays. Nothing wrong with gifts, but it's out of control with greed lately.]]>
I so agree with your thoughts and choices. It amazes me what our grand-daughters get for the holidays. Unfortunately, in their house, there is no discussion of the true meaning of Christmas or Easter. We are the “bad” grandparents (not in the minds of our grand-daughters but in the minds of their parents and other set of grandparents) because we choose to buy one reasonable gift for each girl for each occassion……not a wheelbarrow full. It can become stressful for us, but I won’t budge.
I always make something from paper for them to put on the breakfest table, last year i made a little birdhouse, the year before a little basket, a few chocolates in it and they love it. I always like to decorate the table with simple things. I think when you spoil them too much they won’t like simple surprises anymore.
This is something we constantly struggle with! We try to keep candy to a minimum at Easter also, we also try to teach the importance of the holiday and the meaning of it as opposed to the commercial meaning. Funny the things they remember, they will always compare to last Easter. I think you are doing a great job trying to balance things.
It is really hard to deal with the gimmes! I like your ideas!
awesome reminder
I should try harder with this!
I know what you mean- my kids found that catalog too!
it is a constant struggle!
cool. i need these ideas with my five year old.
good post, Lou!
We go through this with my son- you want to spoil them, but you don’t want them to be spoiled. Catch 22.
When I was growing up my family celebrated every holiday in some way. But Christmas and Easter were for Jesus and the Church. I just can’t remember when it all got so commercial. 10 Years ago my husband and I stopped celebrating Christmas in the commerical way. We have a group of friends that help us sponser a local foodbank instead. Now it sounds like we will be starting to carry this tradition on over into Easter. After I read your post I went to a local store and was actually amazed at how many aisles were dedicated to Easter baskets…not just candy but the toys…amazing!
Yes, unfortunately, Easter has been overtaken by retailers and it sad that the baskets we used to get would be a big disappointment to kids today. I remember getting a stuffed rabbit one year and a kite another year. That was a big deal to even get anything of that sort for me. I think that was how it was or most all kids then. The other thing that I see as a trend right now that is something we would have never seen, is the plastic eggs filled with money during egg hunts.
Amazing posts. Thanks for sharing. I love to read your posts.