Life as Lou

I Owe An Explaination To The People Of Petco

  • October 16, 2012 11:02 pm

For anyone shopping in the Rapid City Petco today who may have seen someone who looked like the world’s worst mother with three small children- 1 little girl in pink and two littler boys in striped sweaters- I would just like to clear something up.

one of my best bitches

I’m sure you couldn’t help but notice when the older boy, aged three and a half, ran excitedly up to the aquariums shouting, “Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Mommy! Mommy! Bitch!!!!!!”  And I’m sure that your horror at this massive breech of social decorum turned to all out disbelief when the mother in question, rather than looking properly abashed and chastising her child, began to laugh, hysterically, while the child continued to spout profanities.

Said three year old has a severe speech delay.  And said mother has a mildly irreverent sense of humor and, when it’s all said and done, would rather laugh than cry.

Bitch in Gabriel-ese is actually fish.

We have three aquariums at home.

I hear that word ALL. DAY. LONG.

At least he’s not mispronouncing the word truck.


  1. Dianna Torgersen says:

    Love it!!! I would have cracked up too- my proof? The other day my 4 1/2 year old was getting sheets for her bed, walking slowly and singing whatever came into her head. Of course, sheets were on her mind, so she started singing “sheet” over and over and over…then she started morphing it a little, and it was coming out “shit” every other time. (mind you, this is in 4 year old opera voice too- just not as loud) I was kinda dyin’……

  2. Cathy K. says:

    Once upon a time my very angelic looking niece age 2 and dressed in her Sunday best offered the elderly woman in the pew behind us her brother’s toy “truck.”. I was dying of embarrassment. After mass the ovely woman walked up to us and thanked the little sweetheart for such good sharing skills with a wink and nod to my husband and I.

  3. Priya Venkat says:

    Hilariously sweet……. and sweetly hilarious…….

  4. Zarah says:

    HAhaaa!! That’s priceless!! :D

  5. Katarina says:

    ROFL!! oh My!! thats such a funny story…
    you should really make all these funny stories in to a book… surviving the motherhood kind of book….
    Love all your writing…

  6. Katie says:

    I once knew a little boy who at 3 yo would see a dump truck and yell “Dumb F***”! My 1 yo is telling everyone to “DIE!” when she really means to say “Hi”. She is really very sweet and excited as she tells everybody in the grocery store to die. It’s hilarious and very embarrassing.

  7. sandra m. says:

    Oh my…Thank you for sharing this! I am still laughing. Wish i had been in the store with you to enjoy this wonderful moment of gabrielese.

  8. Sherri says:

    Oh my goodness, that is awesome. I would have been right there with ya, laughing all the way home.

  9. This is great :) LOL… Just the other day, my son heard my hubby yell the f bomb and he turned to me and said, “mommy what’s buck?” I though, omg, thank goodness he misunderstood his daddy!!!

  10. msdramateacherlady says:

    Thanks for the giggle! My youngest sister had trouble with her “s” at about the same age…my mom lived in fear of her publicly asking for a sucker.

  11. Lauralee Hensley says:

    Oh my, I bet some people did think some very bizarre things. Yet, at least you didn’t make him feel bad by trying to squel his excitement.

  12. Tara says:

    My 2 year old mispronounces truck… Over and over and over… I find it hilarious. Grandma not so much lol

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