Life as Lou

Did I Ever Tell You About The Time. . .

  • April 24, 2009 1:02 am

temple recommend interview. Temple recommends are serious stuff, as the interview is a time to review one’s life and make sure that you are truly worthy to enter the House of the Lord. Although most people who are trying to live a worthy life are, it is still a situation to be approached with reverence, respect and dignity.

I was nearly finished with my interview with my Bishop. He has asked me the usual questions about my belief in Christ and my dedication to the promises I have made with my Father in Heaven, and it is time to go. I stand up to shake his hand and when I do the elastic in my pantyhose breaks.

Now, I am hugely pregnant and these are not maternity nylons. They are normal nylons that are pulled onto the hips, but are riding low under the belly. They are also a little bit to small, due to the pregnancy weight gain, which probably caused this problem in the first place. They have absolutely nothing to stop them on their very fast decent down my legs. I am frozen in place, mortified as my nylons begin to fall.

I feel the blood start to rush to my cheeks as I plan my quick departure. I am considering my options at this point and plan to make a break for the ladies room at the end of the hall. My nylons are moving quickly, and I know I don’t have much time. The Bishop opens the door, guiding me out, and instantly his counselor begins to lead me the four feet to the Stake President’s office. This is in the opposite direction of the restroom, and I find myself in the middle of about ten six foot men. And wouldn’t you know it? The president is ready for me early so I can be ushered right in. My nylons are nearly to my knees. I can barely walk. There is no graceful way out of this. Ahhhh!!

Now, our Stake President’s waiting room has a senseless little recess in the wall, a tiny corner that a person can barely slip into, and would normally have no reason to go hiding in. I have never understood what the architect was thinking when this tiny, mini hallway that goes nowhere was built into the room. But today, it is my salvation. The second the counselor strikes up a brief conversation with the president, and I duck into the corner.

I am so pregnant that I can’t see my feet, and about as graceful as a beluga whale, but I’m hopping out of my heels and slipping my errant nylons over one swollen ankle at a time, all the while hearing the counselor ask, “where is Sister Killian? She was just here. Where did she go?” He quickly spots me shuffling about so he pokes his head around the corner, totally unsuspecting, and then jumps back apologizing just as I yank the hose off my toes with an ungraceful flourish. I am mortified, and yet laughing. I am also aware that my face is on fire.

I am trying not to break into hysterics as I stuff my useless nylons into my purse and walk into my second interview. You can imagine how well that worked. ]]>

13 Comments

  1. Sherri Funk says:

    SO, SO, SO funny! How mortifying, but simply hysterical. Man that’s funny. That will be my cheerful thought for the day…’the lovely Leah hiding in makeshift corridor, surrounded by men, engaged in a struggle with her errant nylons’. Good stuff, once again Leah. I am patiently awaiting your book. I think you should hook up with Liz Curtis Higgs’ agent :)

  2. Tere says:

    < ![CDATA[OMGoodness Leah, I was picturing in my mind and since I don't know your bishop's face my Branch president's face took over, whom BTW is my husband!!! I'm sorry if I'm still laughing I can imagine how you felt that day, but today your anecdote has brighten my day!
    ]]>

  3. Erika M says:

    Leah how did you know that I needed to laugh today! Isn’t is amazing the awkward situations that we sometimes find ourselves in? The first year that I began my teaching career – I was teaching away and being short I had to step up on a stepstool to reach the top of the board. As I am stepping up, the back of my dress splits down from my hips to below my knees. I quickly sat down with a beet red face and sent a student to the office.

  4. Sandie says:

    OMG. I’m laughing my head off at the office right now. I have a similar story. I was in the grocery store, and walking up to the fruit and it was busy. I was FAR from the exit…and boom. They began the rapid descent downward. No pregnancy for me. I just bought the wrong ones, and I didn’t want to return them. They fell right to my feet, where I took my shoes off, pulled them off, and carried on.. mortified, and nowhere to hide.. but practically spitting up in my laughter… all alone. Can you imagine what people thought? So.. solidarity with you Leah.

  5. jill says:

    < ![CDATA[i love embarassing prego stories. when i was 7 months pregnant, my girlfriends father passed away. a couple of us girls went to the funeral to support our friend. when the outside, gravesite service was over. everyone made their way to the parkinglot. one of my girlfriends and i were walking arm in arm, when down we went into a plot that had just been covered. but it had rained the night before, so there was about a foot difference in height of the newly burried plot site. so i can imagine what it looked like to see a pregnant girl arm-in-arm with another girl fall into the grave plot...
    we all laughed later]]>

  6. Paula says:

    < ![CDATA[Leah
    You often make me laugh and manage to make me cry sometimes too. I second the motion for a book.]]>

  7. Chandler says:

    Oh, man. I can’t even imagine! Well, actually, I can. One time I was sitting in a meeting, the type where everyone’s just sitting in chairs in a common room, not at a table (but it was still work, so professionalism was required!). All of a sudden a pair of white undies falls out of my pant leg—guess they had gotten stuck there by static when I was doing laundry, and the static chose just that moment to give out. Luckily I noticed right away and grabbed them before anyone could make out what they were. “Oops, handkerchief!” I said. YIKES. And I blush at the tiniest things, too, so you can probably imagine how red I was!

  8. Mom2Seven says:

    < ![CDATA[Great story! After my wedding, we were on the Temple steps taking pictures. I wore my grandmother's 45-year-old wedding dress, lost my balance, and stepped back onto the train. The entire back waist seam gave way, and the back of the dress fell to the ground. Fortunately, I was wearing a full-length slip and plenty of women nearby ran to my rescue. The rest of our pictures that morning were taken while my dress was held together with lots of pins!

    I laugh now, but at the moment, as for you, too, it wasn't that funny....]]>

  9. Rebecca says:

    OH MY GOSH, that is just TOO FUNNY! thank you for sharing!!!

  10. amie says:

    Two words: hah-larious. Thanks for sharing. =)

  11. mishalee says:

    Thank you for sharing that, too funny!

  12. Oh my goodness! Funny, sad, funny again!

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